BITCOIN REBRANDS TO 'STABLECOIN EXTRA' AMID NEW REGULATIONS TO PROMISE ONLY MODEST HEART ATTACKS TO INVESTORS
February 21, 2025 - In a surprising twist of fate, Bitcoin has announced a strategic rebrand to 'Stablecoin Extra,' promising a lower risk of emotional and financial whiplash for its investors. This move comes on the heels of new regulations demanding all cryptocurrencies to ensure that their market behavior does not excessively disrupt investors’ cardiac rhythms.
The rebranding decision, lauded by both seasoned traders and crypto-novices, aims to position Bitcoin as a leader in market stability. "We're aiming for mild fluctuations only—think decaffeinated coffee," stated an anonymous source from Bitcoin's marketing team.
The rebranding decision, lauded by both seasoned traders and crypto-novices, aims to position Bitcoin as a leader in market stability. "We're aiming for mild fluctuations only—think decaffeinated coffee," stated an anonymous source from Bitcoin's marketing team.