The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

February 27, 2025 - In an unprecedented move that has left economists scratching their heads and crypto enthusiasts cheering, Bitcoin has announced its intentions to apply for U.N. membership, claiming it has finally transcended mere digital asset status to become a sovereign entity. Dubbed the "Satoshi Republic," this new 'nation' has no land, only ledger. With a population comprising solely of wallet addresses and its GDP measured in hash rates, Bitcoin's bid is seen by some as the ultimate decentralization fantasy. Critics argue it's merely the newest loophole in a long saga of regulatory dodgeball. Meanwhile, traditional nations are reportedly updating their cybersecurity, lest their sovereignty be next on the blockchain.