The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

March 6, 2025 - In a stunning turn of events that has rocked the financial world, the cryptocurrency market has announced its new benchmark for success: the Mood Index. This revolutionary metric, replacing outdated concepts like "market capitalization" and "fiat value," measures investor sentiment through an intricate algorithm of emoji usage and meme circulation on social media.
As Bitcoin dipped another 2% today, the Mood Index soared to unprecedented heights, suggesting that while wallets are empty, hearts remain full.