CRYPTOCURRENCY NOW OFFICIALLY THE WORLD'S LEADING CAUSE OF UNNECESSARY ANXIETY, BEATS CLIMATE CHANGE
March 10, 2025 – In a landmark moment, the United Nations has declared a new global priority: deciphering crypto tweets from tech moguls. As volatility spikes every time a billionaire muses about digital coins, UN experts are now tasked with translating these 280-character puzzles into actionable insights.
"Understanding when to 'HODL' or 'sell' based on a meme shared by an executive at 3 AM has become crucial for global economic stability," stated an unnamed UN official. This decision comes after the infamous 'DogeDay Afternoon' crash of 2024, triggered by a misunderstood GIF of a Shiba Inu on a rocket.
Governments worldwide are now offering courses like "Emoji Economics" and "Meme Market Analysis" in hopes of stabilizing the market. Meanwhile, citizens are urged to keep their notifications on.
"Understanding when to 'HODL' or 'sell' based on a meme shared by an executive at 3 AM has become crucial for global economic stability," stated an unnamed UN official. This decision comes after the infamous 'DogeDay Afternoon' crash of 2024, triggered by a misunderstood GIF of a Shiba Inu on a rocket.
Governments worldwide are now offering courses like "Emoji Economics" and "Meme Market Analysis" in hopes of stabilizing the market. Meanwhile, citizens are urged to keep their notifications on.