"CASH IS DEAD, LONG LIVE CASH: CRYPTO COMPANY LAUNCHES PAPER WALLET TO 'REVOLUTIONIZE' PAYMENTS"
March 23, 2025 - In a twist of financial irony, CryptoSecure, a burgeoning tech firm, announced today the launch of its latest product: the Paper Wallet. Amidst growing concerns over digital security, the company claims this "cutting-edge" innovation will harness the security of literal paper. Users can simply print out QR codes of their digital assets, folding them into what could only be described as a high-tech version of origami. "It's like carrying a bank in your pocket, but more papery," quipped CEO John Ledger. Critics argue it's a step back, but with nostalgia reigning supreme in the retro-tech world, folding currency might just be the next big old thing.