"CRYPTO FANS REJOICE AS CONGRESS ANNOUNCES BID TO MAKE BITCOIN THE OFFICIAL U\.S\. RETIREMENT PLAN"
March 24, 2025 – In an unprecedented move that has left economists scratching their heads and crypto enthusiasts popping virtual champagne, U.S. lawmakers have proposed a bill to integrate cryptocurrencies, predominantly Bitcoin, into the national retirement scheme. Dubbed the "Future of Retirement Act," this legislation comes hot on the heels of the recent revelation that the Social Security Trust Fund has been secretly mining Bitcoin to offset its deficits.
Proponents of the bill argue that the volatility of Bitcoin is no match for the thrill of not knowing if there'll be any Social Security left by the time one retires. Critics, however, have voiced concerns, suggesting perhaps the Capitol's Wi-Fi password should be changed more frequently to stop lawmakers from making financial decisions based on pop-up ads.
Proponents of the bill argue that the volatility of Bitcoin is no match for the thrill of not knowing if there'll be any Social Security left by the time one retires. Critics, however, have voiced concerns, suggesting perhaps the Capitol's Wi-Fi password should be changed more frequently to stop lawmakers from making financial decisions based on pop-up ads.