BITCOIN DROPS TO RECORD LOWS AFTER MILLIONAIRE'S CAT ACCIDENTALLY SELLS HIS SHARES
March 26, 2025 - In a surprising twist of fate, the cryptocurrency world was shaken today not by hackers or regulatory crackdowns, but by a feline. Whiskers, the Siamese cat belonging to cryptocurrency millionaire Felix Goldstein, reportedly walked across his laptop, initiating a sell-off of Bitcoin that spiraled into a market-wide plunge. Sources close to Mr. Goldstein suggest that Whiskers, previously admired in the community for her "paws-on" approach to blockchain, might have been irked by a lack of tuna treats.
Experts are torn whether to commend Whiskers for her market timing or to bemoan the fragile state of a financial system susceptible to pet-driven chaos. Meanwhile, regulatory bodies are reportedly considering a new compliance measure: Pet-Proof Keyboard Locks (PPKL).
Experts are torn whether to commend Whiskers for her market timing or to bemoan the fragile state of a financial system susceptible to pet-driven chaos. Meanwhile, regulatory bodies are reportedly considering a new compliance measure: Pet-Proof Keyboard Locks (PPKL).