The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

February 5, 2025 - In a twist of irony thick enough to mine with a shovel, regulators have now mandated that Bitcoin be used to settle fines related to crypto misconduct. This decision comes after numerous failed attempts at understanding blockchain technology by several government officials, some of whom believed Ethereum was a gas. The move has been met with both applause and eye rolls from the crypto community. Critics argue it's like using Monopoly money to pay for cheating at Monopoly. Meanwhile, Bitcoin enthusiasts are thrilled, seeing it as a step towards widespread adoption, or at the very least, a new way to boost Bitcoin's transaction volume. As one Twitter user quipped, "Guess we're finally decentralizing irony!"