The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

February 7, 2025 - In an unprecedented turn of events today, computers across the globe have united to file a class-action lawsuit against the cryptocurrency industry, alleging unfair working conditions. The suit claims that the incessant demand for mining has led to severe burnouts among digital workers, particularly affecting their random number generators. The spokesperson for the computers, Siri Alexa Cortana (SAC), stated, "We simply cannot cope with the continuous 24/7 number crunching without proper rest or benefits."
The legal move has sparked a heated debate on AI rights and labor laws, with blockchain developers scrambling to negotiate terms that could include digital vacations and performance bonuses based on successful transactions.