"CRYPTO WHALES NOW ACCEPTING THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS NEW OFFICIAL CURRENCY AFTER LATEST MARKET CRASH"
February 15, 2025 – In an unprecedented move that has rocked the financial community, major cryptocurrency investors, often referred to as "crypto whales," have announced a novel approach to stabilizing the market: accepting thoughts and prayers as legitimate forms of investment.
This groundbreaking decision comes after yet another debilitating crash, leaving the crypto market in tatters and investors scrambling for stability. The initiative dubbed "Heavenly Hedging," aims to capitalize on good intentions, a resource that remains abundant, particularly during economic downturns.
“We've tried algorithms, AI predictions, and even astrological charts," stated one prominent investor, who wishes to remain anonymous.
This groundbreaking decision comes after yet another debilitating crash, leaving the crypto market in tatters and investors scrambling for stability. The initiative dubbed "Heavenly Hedging," aims to capitalize on good intentions, a resource that remains abundant, particularly during economic downturns.
“We've tried algorithms, AI predictions, and even astrological charts," stated one prominent investor, who wishes to remain anonymous.