"GOVERNMENT SHOCKED AS CRYPTOCURRENCY INVESTORS PAY TAXES, PROMISE TO REGULATE EVEN HARDER"
January 30, 2025 - In an unprecedented financial twist, cryptocurrency moguls have begun voluntarily reporting their earnings, shocking IRS officials who had just mastered blockchain jargon. The sudden compliance has been linked to a new crypto called TaxCoin, which rewards users with meme-themed NFTs for disclosing their hidden assets.
In response, the Treasury Department announced a new 'Crypto Cops' unit, armed with quantum computers and a deep sense of irony, to ensure this isn't just another elaborate tax evasion ruse. Meanwhile, investors are reportedly rushing to understand the tax code, with "Tax Law for Dummies" seeing a 7,000% increase in sales overnight.
In response, the Treasury Department announced a new 'Crypto Cops' unit, armed with quantum computers and a deep sense of irony, to ensure this isn't just another elaborate tax evasion ruse. Meanwhile, investors are reportedly rushing to understand the tax code, with "Tax Law for Dummies" seeing a 7,000% increase in sales overnight.