BITCOIN'S NEWEST USE: ADOPTED AS OFFICIAL CURRENCY BY MARS COLONIES, CLAIMS TECH MOGUL TURNED INTERPLANETARY FINANCE ADVISOR
March 5, 2025 – In a bold move that has left many Earthlings scratching their heads, tech mogul and now self-proclaimed interplanetary finance advisor, Elon Tusk, announced that Bitcoin has been adopted as the official currency of his Mars colonies. This decision follows the recent interstellar market crash, where the Martian real estate tokens plummeted after the discovery that the red planet doesn't support avocado farming. Tusk defended his choice, stating, "Bitcoin operates on Mars-time," a statement that has puzzled scientists and economists alike. Critics argue this is just another of Tusk's strategies to inflate his space-themed NFT series, "Galactic Goof-Ups". Meanwhile, Mars' first settlers are reportedly still trying to figure out how to exchange Bitcoin for oxygen credits.