The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

January 30, 2025 – In a stunning turn of events, leading cryptocurrencies have formed an "unstablecoin" alliance, beseeching global powers for financial salvation. This plea comes after DogeX, a memecoin turned major player, plummeted by 95%, taking with it the market’s semblance of dignity. The cryptosphere, famous for its "decentralize everything" mantra, now seeks a central savior in the form of government cheese. Critics are calling it the "flippening" of principles as blockchain enthusiasts, once vocal anti-bailout champions, now pass around digital begging bowls. The world watches, popcorn in hand, as regulators mull over saving the entities that once aimed to render them obsolete.