The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

March 9, 2025 - In an unprecedented financial fluke, the cryptocurrency market faced a sudden and steep decline today, catalyzed by an unexpected investor: a three-year-old from Tampa, Florida. During what was supposed to be a routine nap, young Joey McMillan got his hands on his father’s unlocked smartphone and, with the innocent dexterity only a toddler possesses, purchased $3 billion worth of Bitcoin.
The toddler’s gargantuan transaction sent shockwaves through the global markets, triggering automated trading algorithms to sell off, in fear of an unknown whale manipulating market prices.