CASHLESS SOCIETY CONFUSED AS BITCOINERS LAUNCH CRYPTOCURRENCY THAT ONLY EXISTS IN CONVERSATIONS
January 29, 2025 — In a groundbreaking move that has both monetary theorists and hallucination experts scratching their heads, a group of visionary developers announced the launch of “TalkCoin,” a cryptocurrency that exists solely in the discussions of those talking about it. Spearheaded by the enigmatic former crypto-influencer who goes solely by the username "Bl0ckCha1nMasterX," TalkCoin aims to decentralize the conversation around money by making sure it literally is the conversation.
Bl0ckCha1nMasterX, in the exclusive interview held via a series of cryptic riddles, stated, “Unlike traditional currencies which are limited by physical or digital existence, TalkCoin only becomes real when you chat about it. It's Schrödinger's currency! If you're not discussing it, does it even exist?”
In technical terms, no servers, no real user accounts, and absolutely no blockchain exist to support TalkCoin. Instead, its value and verification method rely purely on how much and how loudly people talk about it. Each discourse increases the supposed value of TalkCoin, fueling an ever-intensifying spiral of unverifiable worth.
Economists have been polarized by the concept. One vocal supporter, Dr. Faye Kerrency, an economy professor at the Imaginomics Faculty of Atlantis University, hailed it as "the purest form of a speculative asset. It's environmentally friendly — no mining required, except perhaps mining for conversation topics at dinner parties."
However, critics argue that TalkCoin might be the most volatile cryptocurrency yet, with value known to triple during intense coffee shop debates, only to crash during silent retreats. Notable skeptic and author of "The Empress’ New Coins," Paula Pennyworth, commented, "This is just absurd. Next we’ll have people trading stocks based on dreams
Bl0ckCha1nMasterX, in the exclusive interview held via a series of cryptic riddles, stated, “Unlike traditional currencies which are limited by physical or digital existence, TalkCoin only becomes real when you chat about it. It's Schrödinger's currency! If you're not discussing it, does it even exist?”
In technical terms, no servers, no real user accounts, and absolutely no blockchain exist to support TalkCoin. Instead, its value and verification method rely purely on how much and how loudly people talk about it. Each discourse increases the supposed value of TalkCoin, fueling an ever-intensifying spiral of unverifiable worth.
Economists have been polarized by the concept. One vocal supporter, Dr. Faye Kerrency, an economy professor at the Imaginomics Faculty of Atlantis University, hailed it as "the purest form of a speculative asset. It's environmentally friendly — no mining required, except perhaps mining for conversation topics at dinner parties."
However, critics argue that TalkCoin might be the most volatile cryptocurrency yet, with value known to triple during intense coffee shop debates, only to crash during silent retreats. Notable skeptic and author of "The Empress’ New Coins," Paula Pennyworth, commented, "This is just absurd. Next we’ll have people trading stocks based on dreams