CRYPTO REGULATORS DECLARE ALL COINS BUT DOGECOIN ILLEGAL, CLAIM 'ONLY ONE TRUE SHIBA CAN LEAD US'
March 24, 2025 - In a shocking twist of fate, global financial regulators have culled the cryptocurrency herd, leaving Dogecoin as the sole survivor. This decision comes on the heels of a year-long debate in which the meme coin's stability was attributed to its robust foundation of internet jokes and Shiba Inu memes.
Authorities explained the move as "a natural selection process guided by market memes." Economists worldwide are baffled, though a few speculate this could stabilize the economy by anchoring it to Dogecoin's lunar aspirations.
As for other cryptocurrencies, they are now collector's items, reminiscent of Beanie Babies but with more blockchain. Meanwhile, Dogecoin enthusiasts have declared it the "alpha and omega of fintech," planning a celebratory "Moon Party." The future of finance is furry, folks.
Authorities explained the move as "a natural selection process guided by market memes." Economists worldwide are baffled, though a few speculate this could stabilize the economy by anchoring it to Dogecoin's lunar aspirations.
As for other cryptocurrencies, they are now collector's items, reminiscent of Beanie Babies but with more blockchain. Meanwhile, Dogecoin enthusiasts have declared it the "alpha and omega of fintech," planning a celebratory "Moon Party." The future of finance is furry, folks.