"CALIFORNIA GOLD RUSH RETURNS AS TECH BRO INVENTS 'SILICON COIN,' PROMISING TO TURN DATA INTO REAL ESTATE"
March 24, 2025 - In a stunning development that combines nostalgia with digital desperation, Silicon Valley has introduced its latest cryptocurrency, the Silicon Coin. Spearheaded by Tod Bentley, a 23-year-old who made his first million while still in braces, this new digital currency claims it can transform user data into virtual real estate plots in an online simulacrum of 1849 California.
Bentley, who insists on being called "The Data Miner," explained, "It's like mining gold, but what you're digging up is the untapped potential of your internet browsing history." Privacy advocates are up in arms, while potential investors are merely lifting an eyebrow, accustomed to the valley's weekly crypto innovations.
Critics argue the only thing Silicon Coin is likely to inflate is the bubble of tech optimism.
Bentley, who insists on being called "The Data Miner," explained, "It's like mining gold, but what you're digging up is the untapped potential of your internet browsing history." Privacy advocates are up in arms, while potential investors are merely lifting an eyebrow, accustomed to the valley's weekly crypto innovations.
Critics argue the only thing Silicon Coin is likely to inflate is the bubble of tech optimism.