"CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO BE LEADING CAUSE OF NEWLY DEVELOPED MENTAL CONDITION: INVESTMENT FOMO"
March 25, 2025 — In a bizarre twist of fate, DogeCoin has just been named the official currency of Silicon Valley. This unprecedented move comes after the infamous 2024 "Tech Titan Summit" where CEOs resolved to adopt the meme coin in a collective effort to make finance 'fun again'.
Silicon Valley's decision has spurred a frenzy, with investors pouring into DogeCoin, driving its price up by a staggering 7000% overnight. Critics have called this a speculative bubble, but local tech moguls, often spotted riding hoverboards to blockchain-themed cocktail parties, claim it's "the future of economic evolution."
A spokesperson for the group stated, "If our technologies are going to the moon, why shouldn't our currency?" Meanwhile, confused economists worldwide are reportedly considering careers in quantum physics where, presumably, things make more sense.
Silicon Valley's decision has spurred a frenzy, with investors pouring into DogeCoin, driving its price up by a staggering 7000% overnight. Critics have called this a speculative bubble, but local tech moguls, often spotted riding hoverboards to blockchain-themed cocktail parties, claim it's "the future of economic evolution."
A spokesperson for the group stated, "If our technologies are going to the moon, why shouldn't our currency?" Meanwhile, confused economists worldwide are reportedly considering careers in quantum physics where, presumably, things make more sense.