The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

January 31, 2025 - In an unprecedented move that has left both financial and extraterrestrial analysts scratching their heads, Tesla has just diversified its portfolio in what can only be described as a cosmic gamble. The electric car giant announced a staggering $1 billion investment in Dogecoin, the cryptocurrency famously started as a joke. Elon Musk justified this interplanetary punt, stating the funds are earmarked for developing his much-anticipated Mars colony.

The announcement came during Musk's latest tweet spree, which featured not only his Mars plans but also a proposal for a Dogecoin-themed amusement park on the Red Planet, complete with zero-gravity dodgeball and a hall of mirrors reflecting the cryptocurrency's wildly fluctuating value.

Financial regulators, however, are less amused.