"CRYPTO WHALES NOW ACCEPTING THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS NEWEST FORM OF CURRENCY AMID MARKET TURBULENCE"
February 13, 2025 - In a groundbreaking move that industry experts are calling "spiritually bullish," major cryptocurrency investors have unveiled their latest venture: the PrayerCoin. Amidst ongoing market instability and regulatory crackdowns, these crypto magnates have declared they will now accept thoughts and prayers in exchange for blockchain assets.
This innovative financial instrument promises to transform divine goodwill into tangible assets, thus ensuring a new bull market driven by celestial intervention rather than earthly regulations. The SEC, caught off guard by this transcendent currency, has scheduled an emergency session to determine if salvation is a security. Meanwhile, the IRS is still trying to figure out if you can write off lost prayers on your tax returns.
This innovative financial instrument promises to transform divine goodwill into tangible assets, thus ensuring a new bull market driven by celestial intervention rather than earthly regulations. The SEC, caught off guard by this transcendent currency, has scheduled an emergency session to determine if salvation is a security. Meanwhile, the IRS is still trying to figure out if you can write off lost prayers on your tax returns.