CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS EXCITED FOR NEW 'BUY LOW, SELL NEVER' STRATEGY, CLAIM IT'S REVOLUTIONARY IN AVOIDING TAXES
February 25, 2025 - In a stunning development that's shaking the very foundations of finance, cryptocurrency investors have stumbled upon a groundbreaking tactic for wealth management: simply never selling their assets. Amidst a backdrop of relentless market volatility and tight-fisted regulatory crackdowns, this bold strategy has been dubbed the "HODL+."
"It's like HODL, but with more commitment," explained self-proclaimed crypto guru, Chad Satoshi. The IRS, already beleaguered by budget cuts and the existential dread of blockchain, has reportedly been left scratching its collective head. "If they don't sell, what do we tax?" lamented one anonymous official.
Meanwhile, financial advisors are scrambling to add "eternal holding" to their list of services, while the average Joe just hopes Bitcoin will pay off his student loans in another couple of decades or so.
"It's like HODL, but with more commitment," explained self-proclaimed crypto guru, Chad Satoshi. The IRS, already beleaguered by budget cuts and the existential dread of blockchain, has reportedly been left scratching its collective head. "If they don't sell, what do we tax?" lamented one anonymous official.
Meanwhile, financial advisors are scrambling to add "eternal holding" to their list of services, while the average Joe just hopes Bitcoin will pay off his student loans in another couple of decades or so.