The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

**February 26, 2025 -** In an unexpected twist of faith, Bitcoin has announced its rebranding strategy amidst swirling regulatory crackdowns. Founders of the decentralized cryptocurrency have filed paperwork in California to officially register as a non-profit religious organization. This divine intervention allows Bitcoin to not only seek sanctuary from stringent financial laws but also to pass around the collection plate free from the grubby hands of taxation.
Church of Satoshi, as it will now be known, promises weekly sermons on the blockchain and communion via QR codes. "It’s a spiritual awakening," preached one newly ordained crypto-minister, wallet in hand.