The Rug Pull Gazette^TM

March 15, 2025 — In a stunning display of financial prowess, the cryptocurrency community has successfully purchased the British monarchy, installing an Ethereum smart contract as the new King of England. The move, hailed as "the ultimate decentralization" by blockchain advocates, effectively turns centuries of royal heritage into what is now considered the crown jewel of Non-Fungible Tokens.
The transaction, verified by millions of nodes worldwide, has not only redefined the concept of sovereignty but also given the Queen's Guard new duties—mainly, maintaining the blockchain and ensuring all royal smart contracts are up to date.