"CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS REJOICE: LEAKED MEMO SUGGESTS NEW REGULATIONS TO INCLUDE FREE VIRTUAL THERAPY WITH EVERY MARKET CRASH"
March 15, 2025 - In a surprising twist that's sure to send shockwaves through the digital world, newly leaked memos from the US Securities and Exchange Commission have revealed plans to bolster the emotional resilience of cryptocurrency investors. Soon, traders will not only be navigating the tempestuous seas of Bitcoin and Ethereum, but they will also be armed with complimentary virtual therapy sessions after each market downturn. This initiative, humorously dubbed "HODL and Heal," aims to provide psychological support, ensuring that every time the market takes a dip, investors’ spirits won’t have to. Critics argue it’s the first governmental acknowledgment that investing in crypto is, indeed, a rollercoaster not for the faint of heart.