"CRYPTO COMMUNITY BLAMES REGULATION AFTER 568TH CRASH THIS YEAR, CALLS IT UNPRECEDENTED INTERFERENCE"
March 20, 2025 - In a shock to absolutely no one, the cryptocurrency market took another nosedive early this morning, marking its 568th plummet of the year—a new record even for this famously volatile industry. Investors were seen parachuting from digital ledgers as Bitcoin and Ether fell by 50%, landing on what veterans of the crypto world call 'Just Another Monday.'
Crypto enthusiasts were quick to point fingers at the usual suspect: government regulation. "If only the governments would let the blockchain be free, I wouldn't have to keep explaining to my mom that my investment strategy is sound," lamented one investor, who recently updated his LinkedIn profile to 'Blockchain Evangelist & Part-Time Barista.'
The SEC has declined to comment, likely bewildered that 568 crashes in, anyone still thinks this is about them.
Crypto enthusiasts were quick to point fingers at the usual suspect: government regulation. "If only the governments would let the blockchain be free, I wouldn't have to keep explaining to my mom that my investment strategy is sound," lamented one investor, who recently updated his LinkedIn profile to 'Blockchain Evangelist & Part-Time Barista.'
The SEC has declined to comment, likely bewildered that 568 crashes in, anyone still thinks this is about them.