CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS NOW ADOPTING HAMSTERS FOR INVESTMENT ADVICE AFTER LATEST MARKET TURNDOWN
February 1, 2025 - In an unexpected twist of fate, the cryptocurrency community has turned its gaze from complex algorithms to, believe it or not, pet hamsters. Following the revelation that Mr. Snuffles, a hamster owned by a laid-off tech worker from San Francisco, has consistently outperformed market analysts by selecting crypto investments based on which colored tube he scurries through, crypto traders worldwide are rushing to pet stores.
Dubbed as "Fur-tune Tellers," these tiny financial advisors are the latest trend in an industry known for its volatility. "It's genius," says one trader, "they work for sunflower seeds — much cheaper than our previous analyst!" Meanwhile, regulators scratch their heads on how to incorporate hamsters into existing financial advisory laws, with the SEC pondering if a new "Small Animal Exception" clause is needed.
Dubbed as "Fur-tune Tellers," these tiny financial advisors are the latest trend in an industry known for its volatility. "It's genius," says one trader, "they work for sunflower seeds — much cheaper than our previous analyst!" Meanwhile, regulators scratch their heads on how to incorporate hamsters into existing financial advisory laws, with the SEC pondering if a new "Small Animal Exception" clause is needed.