CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDERS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THAT BLOCKCHAIN ALSO RECORDS CRIMES; LAW ENFORCEMENT AMUSED
CRYPTO MARKET EAGERLY AWAITS NEW WHALE WATCH APP TO HELP INVESTORS DODGE NEXT FINANCIAL SPLASHDOWN
BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A COUNTRY, SEEKS UN MEMBERSHIP TO AVOID REGULATION
"CRYPTO COMMUNITY CELEBRATES AS BITCOIN BRIEFLY BECOMES THE WORLD’S STRONGEST CURRENCY, LASTING A WHOLE 10 MINUTES"
COINFLUENCERS DECLARE BANKRUPTCY AFTER SPENDING THEIR INVESTORS' FUNDS ON SOLID GOLD LEDGER WALLETS
BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A COUNTRY, SEEKS UN MEMBERSHIP AMID REGULATORY TURMOIL
"CRYPTO REGULATORS DECLARE MARKET STABILITY AFTER ONLY THREE CRASHES THIS WEEK"
"BITCOIN ANNOUNCES PLANS TO TACKLE INFLATION BY PRINTING MORE BITCOINS"
"ELON MUSK BUYS SATURN’S MOONS TO MINE SPACECOIN, REGULATORS BAFFLED"
CRYPTOCURRENCY VALUE HITS ALL\-TIME MENTAL LOW: INVESTORS HOPE TO PAY BILLS WITH GOOD VIBES AND MEME SHARES
CRYPTO INVESTORS HOPE TO AVOID TAXES BY CLAIMING LUNAR RESIDENCY, MOON GOVERNANCE YET TO RESPOND
