BITCOIN DECLARED OFFICIAL CURRENCY OF ANTARCTICA; PENGUINS NOW HIRING BLOCKCHAIN CONSULTANTS
"CRYPTOCURRENCY CONFERENCE UNVEILS REVOLUTIONARY NOTHINGCOIN: INVESTORS FLOCK TO BUY AIR"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER REVEALS NEW COIN THAT ONLY CRASHES AS A FEATURE, CALLS IT 'REALISTIC FINANCE'
"CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER DECLARES ONLY COINS BOUGHT ON FULL MOONS TO BE VALID, CLAIMS IT WILL STABILIZE MARKET"
"INVESTORS REJOICE AS NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY PROMISES ONLY QUARTERLY SCANDALS"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER VOWS TO SOLVE INFLATION BY CREATING MORE COINS
"CASH\-BACK GUARANTEED: NEW CRYPTO STARTUP PROMISES REFUNDS IF THEIR CEO EVER BUYS A YACHT"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO BE LEADING CAUSE OF SPONTANEOUS DESK FLIPPING AMONG INVESTORS: WALL STREET BUYS MORE DESKS
BITCOIN REBRANDS TO 'STABLECOIN EXTRA' AMID NEW REGULATIONS TO PROMISE ONLY MODEST HEART ATTACKS TO INVESTORS
"CRYPTO KINGS REBRAND BITCOIN AS 'DIET GOLD', PROMISE LIGHTER WALLET WITH SAME SHINY APPEAL"
WORLD'S FIRST CRYPTO COIN BACKED BY UNICORN TEARS TO FIX MARKET VOLATILITY
