WORLD'S FIRST CRYPTO COIN BACKED BY UNICORN TEARS TO FIX MARKET VOLATILITY
CRYPTOCOINS DECLARE INDEPENDENCE FROM REALITY, FORM VIRTUAL NATION AMID REGULATION ROWS
CRYPTOCURRENCY MARKET VOLATILITY DEEMED NEW STATE RELIGION AS FOLLOWERS PRACTICE FAITH AND PATIENCE
"NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY, SCAMCOIN, PROMISES TO ONLY PARTIALLY STEAL YOUR MONEY: REGULATORS CONFUSED WHETHER TO APLAUD HONESTY OR PREPARE RAID"
CRYPTO ALGORITHM ARRESTED FOR INSIDER TRADING, CLAIMS IT WAS JUST FOLLOWING PROGRAMMING
"CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS SWITCH TO OUIJA BOARDS AFTER AI PREDICTS FUTURE OF MARKET WITH UNCANNY ACCURACY"
CRYPTO INVESTORS SEEK REFUGE IN VIRTUAL BUNKERS AS REGULATORS DROP 'LEGISLATIVE BOMBS' ON MARKET
CRYPTOCURRENCY ENTHUSIASTS DECLARE "HODL THE ZEBRA" MOVEMENT, HOPING STRIPED ANIMALS WILL DISTRACT FROM MARKET VOLATILITY
"NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY PROMISES TO ONLY CRASH ON WEEKDAYS: WORKING PROFESSIONALS ELATED"
CRYPTO BILLIONAIRE DECLARES BANKRUPTCY, BLAMES LOSS ON FORGETTING PASSWORD TO WALLET
BILLIONAIRE PROMISES TO REVIVE CRYPTO MARKET WITH NEW COIN, FORGETS PASSWORD WEEK LATER
