BITCOIN'S NEWEST USE: ADOPTED AS OFFICIAL CURRENCY BY MARS COLONIES, CLAIMS TECH MOGUL TURNED INTERPLANETARY FINANCE ADVISOR
"BITCOIN TO BE OFFICIALLY ADOPTED BY ELVES, SANTA CLAUS DECLARES IT 'FUTURE OF GIFT ECONOMY'"
CRYPTO COIN NAMED 'REGRET' SKYROCKETS AS INVESTORS SEEK SAFER HAVENS IN IRONY
CRYPTO INVESTORS REJOICE AS VIRTUAL LAND PRICES SURPASS REAL ESTATE IN SAN FRANCISCO
CRYPTOCOINS SLUMP AFTER DISCOVERY THAT MINERS CAN'T ACTUALLY DIG UP BITCOIN
ELON MUSK TWEETS ABOUT ADOPTING NEW PET DOG; DOGECOIN SURGES 1500%, SPCA TO INVESTIGATE MARKET MANIPULATION
"CRYPTO WHALES NOW ENDANGERED SPECIES AS NEW REGULATIONS DRAIN THE POND"
ELON MUSK TWEETS ABOUT ADOPTING NEW PET CHICKEN, CRYPTOCURRENCY MARKET IN TUSSLE TO LAUNCH 'EGGCOIN'
"DOGECOIN REBRANDS AS CATCOIN, ELON MUSK CLAIMS IT WAS A TYPO ALL ALONG"
"CRYPTO WHIZKID CLAIMS TO SOLVE INFLATION BY SIMPLY TURNING OFF HIS COMPUTER"
CRYPTOCURRENCY VALUE RISES AFTER CEO PROMISES TO TWEET LESS
