"CRYPTO BILLIONAIRES SEEK REFUGE ON MARS AS EARTHLY REGULATIONS TIGHTEN"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDATION PROMISES TO END POVERTY BY INTRODUCING 'MEME\-COIN' BACKED BY INTERNET JOKES
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS DEMAND NEW COIN INSPIRED BY THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN: 'FEDCOIN' PROMISES TO OPERATE 24/7
WORLD'S FIRST CRYPTOCLIMATE COIN LAUNCHES; VOWS TO MELT GLACIERS WITH HOT AIR FROM INVESTORS
BITCOIN HIRES PR FIRM TO IMPROVE IMAGE: DECLARES "I'M NOT A BUBBLE, I'M JUST MISUNDERSTOOD"
"DOGECOIN FOUNDER STARTS NEW CRYPTO FOR CAT LOVERS: CATCOIN PROMISES TO MAKE EVERY DAY CATURDAY"
CASHING IN ON CHAOS: CRYPTO CONFERENCE ACCEPTS ONLY FALLEN COINS AS ADMISSION FEE
ELON MUSK BUYS BITCOIN\-DIPPED TESLAS; PROMISES FREE CRYPTO WITH EVERY CAR PURCHASE TO OFFSET CARBON FOOTPRINT
"INVESTORS REJOICE AS NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY PROMISES TO ONLY CRASH ON WEEKDAYS"
BITCOIN BAILS OUT CENTRAL BANKS: WORLD'S RICHEST GOVERNMENTS TURN TO DIGITAL DOLLARS TO PAY OFF NATIONAL DEBTS
"CERTIFIED PSYCHICS STRUGGLE TO PREDICT BITCOIN PRICES, CLAIM IT'S EASIER TO FORECAST THE WEATHER ON MARS"
