CRYPTOCOIN CALAMITY: BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A SOVEREIGN NATION, SEEKS U\.N\. MEMBERSHIP AMID REGULATORY TURMOIL
"CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDERS SURPRISED TO LEARN NEW REGULATION REQUIRES THEM TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THEIR OWN WHITE PAPERS"
"BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A COUNTRY, REQUESTS UN MEMBERSHIP TO AVOID REGULATIONS"
BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A RELIGION, SEEKS TAX EXEMPTION AMIDST TIGHTENING REGULATIONS
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER CLAIMS TO SOLVE INFLATION BY INTRODUCING 'DEFI\-DIET' TOKEN, PROMISES TO TRIM THE FAT OFF YOUR WALLET TOO
BITCOIN RESCUES ECONOMY: NATION PAYS OFF DEBT BY ACCIDENTALLY HODLing
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS EXCITED FOR NEW 'BUY LOW, SELL NEVER' STRATEGY, CLAIM IT'S REVOLUTIONARY IN AVOIDING TAXES
"DOGECOIN TO THE MOON: NASA INVESTS IN CRYPTO TO FUND MARS MISSION, ELON MUSK APPROVES"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO OUTPACE THE SPEED OF RUMORS, EXPERTS BAFFLE OVER HOW TO SHORT SPECULATION
"CASH IS CRASHING: CRYPTOCURRENCY DECLARES VICTORY, PROMISES TO ONLY COLLAPSE ONCE A WEEK"
CRYPTOCURRENCY VALUE LINKED TO MOON PHASES, INVESTORS HOPE FOR FULL MOON PROFITS
