"DOGECOIN REBRANDS AS 'SERIOUSCOIN' TO WIN OVER SKEPTICAL CENTRAL BANKERS"
"CASH IS CRASHING: NEW STUDY SHOWS 100% OF NON\-CRYPTO USERS STILL USING OUTDATED PAPER BILLS"
"INVESTORS RUSH TO BUY NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY BACKED BY DENTAL FLOSS, CLAIMING IT'S MORE TANGIBLE THAN USUAL ASSETS"
"CRYPTO WHALES NOW ACCEPTING THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS NEWEST FORM OF CURRENCY AMID MARKET TURBULENCE"
TECH GIANT LAUNCHES NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY, PROMISES TO LOSE YOUR MONEY FASTER THAN EVER BEFORE
CRYPTO MARKET RESPONDS TO REGULATIONS BY LAUNCHING 'RULECOIN', PROMISES TO OUTLAW ITSELF BY Q3
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDERS EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THE LAUNCH OF 'BAILCOIN' JUST IN TIME FOR NEXT ROUND OF INDICTMENTS
CRYPTO COMMUNITY HAILS NEW USELESS COIN AS 'FUTURE OF MONEY'; FORGETS NAME NEXT DAY
"CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO BE LEADING CAUSE OF SPONTANEOUS YACHT PURCHASES AMONGST TECH BROs"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER DECLARES BANKRUPTION: DECLARES BANKRUPTCY AND LAUNCHES NEW COIN SIMULTANEOUSLY TO FUND IT
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO REDUCE STRESS BY MAKING ALL INVESTORS TOO POOR TO WORRY ABOUT ACTUAL MONEY
