CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO CAUSE MEMORY LOSS; INVESTORS CAN'T REMEMBER WHY THEY BOUGHT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE
BITCOIN PRICE SPIKES AS INVESTORS MISTAKE ELON MUSK'S TWEET ABOUT HIS NEW PET FOR CRYPTO ENDORSEMENT
CRYPTO INVESTORS RUSH TO BUY 'FOOLSGOLD', THE LATEST CURRENCY GUARANTEED TO DISAPPEAR OVERNIGHT
CRYPTO INVESTORS REJOICE AS NEW COIN PROMISES TO SOLVE ISSUES OF PREVIOUS ONE, FOR REAL THIS TIME
BITCOIN BUYS BREAKFAST: LATEST CRYPTOCURRENCY TO ONLY TEMPORARILY OUTVALUE A CROISSANT Amid Regulatory Ups and Downs
CRYPTO WHALES NOW ACCEPTING TEARS AS LEGAL TENDER IN LIGHT OF RECENT MARKET CRYFALL
CRYPTOGRUMP COIN SOARS AFTER CELEBRITY SNEEZE MENTIONED IN TWEET; REGULATORS SCRATCH HEADS IN CONFUSION
CRYPTOCOIN CALAMITY: BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A SOVEREIGN NATION, SEEKS U\.N\. MEMBERSHIP AMID REGULATORY TURMOIL
"CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDERS SURPRISED TO LEARN NEW REGULATION REQUIRES THEM TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THEIR OWN WHITE PAPERS"
"BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A COUNTRY, REQUESTS UN MEMBERSHIP TO AVOID REGULATIONS"
BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A RELIGION, SEEKS TAX EXEMPTION AMIDST TIGHTENING REGULATIONS
