WORLD'S FIRST CRYPTOCLIMATE COIN LAUNCHES; VOWS TO MELT GLACIERS WITH HOT AIR FROM INVESTORS
BITCOIN HIRES PR FIRM TO IMPROVE IMAGE: DECLARES "I'M NOT A BUBBLE, I'M JUST MISUNDERSTOOD"
"DOGECOIN FOUNDER STARTS NEW CRYPTO FOR CAT LOVERS: CATCOIN PROMISES TO MAKE EVERY DAY CATURDAY"
CASHING IN ON CHAOS: CRYPTO CONFERENCE ACCEPTS ONLY FALLEN COINS AS ADMISSION FEE
ELON MUSK BUYS BITCOIN\-DIPPED TESLAS; PROMISES FREE CRYPTO WITH EVERY CAR PURCHASE TO OFFSET CARBON FOOTPRINT
"INVESTORS REJOICE AS NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY PROMISES TO ONLY CRASH ON WEEKDAYS"
BITCOIN BAILS OUT CENTRAL BANKS: WORLD'S RICHEST GOVERNMENTS TURN TO DIGITAL DOLLARS TO PAY OFF NATIONAL DEBTS
"CERTIFIED PSYCHICS STRUGGLE TO PREDICT BITCOIN PRICES, CLAIM IT'S EASIER TO FORECAST THE WEATHER ON MARS"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO BE LEADING CAUSE OF HAIR LOSS AMONG REGULATORS, INVESTORS FORM BALDNESS SUPPORT GROUPS
BITCOIN BUSTS BUDGET BARRIERS: NATION'S CAPITAL EMBRACES CRYPTO FOR TAX PAYMENTS, CITIZENS CONFUSED WHETHER TO CHEER OR CRY
CRYPTOCURRENCY NOW OFFICIALLY THE WORLD'S LEADING CAUSE OF UNNECESSARY ANXIETY, BEATS CLIMATE CHANGE
