"DOGECOIN TO THE MOON? NEW REGULATORY ROCKET FUEL CLAIMS TO SOLVE CRYPTO'S WILDEST DREAMS"
"DOGECOIN FOUNDERS TO LAUNCH NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY, CATCOIN: BECAUSE THE INTERNET NEEDS MORE MEMES"
CRYPTO COMMUNITY RELIEVED AFTER DISCOVERING RECENT MARKET CRASH JUST A SIMULATION DRILL, EXPERTS SAY "BEST PRACTICE FOR UPCOMING REAL ONE"
"MILLENNIALS REJOICE AS CRYPTO MARKET CRASHES ALLOW FOR BUYING DIPS THAT WERE ONCE AVOCADO TOAST"
"CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO BE LEADING CAUSE OF NEWLY DEVELOPED MENTAL CONDITION: INVESTMENT FOMO"
CITIZENS PUZZLED AS NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY CALLED "REGRETICOIN" SOARS, PROMISING 100% TRANSPARENCY IN LOSSES
"CALIFORNIA GOLD RUSH RETURNS AS TECH BRO INVENTS 'SILICON COIN,' PROMISING TO TURN DATA INTO REAL ESTATE"
CRYPTO REGULATORS DECLARE ALL COINS BUT DOGECOIN ILLEGAL, CLAIM 'ONLY ONE TRUE SHIBA CAN LEAD US'
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDERS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THEY MUST ALSO PAY TAXES
"CRYPTO FANS REJOICE AS CONGRESS ANNOUNCES BID TO MAKE BITCOIN THE OFFICIAL U\.S\. RETIREMENT PLAN"
"GOVERNMENTS CONFUSED AS CRYPTOCURRENCY MARKET ACHIEVES STABILITY BY CRASHING REGULARLY"
