BITCOIN BOUNCES BACK TO PRE\-SCANDAL PRICES, PROMPTING INVESTORS TO CELEBRATE WITH CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM AND MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES
CRYPTO WHALE IN MASSIVE RECOVERY: CLAIMS TO FIND LOST PASSWORD IN FORTUNE COOKIE, MARKET SKEPTICISM AT ALL\-TIME HIGH
"CRYPTO COINS NOW ACCEPTED ON MOON, MARTIANS STILL SKEPTICAL"
CRYPTO MARKET PLUNGES AFTER TODDLER ACCIDENTALLY BUYS $3 BILLION IN BITCOIN DURING NAPTIME
"CRYPTO CONFERENCE UNVEILS REVOLUTIONARY NEW COIN: PAY2BREATHE, BECAUSE OXYGEN ISN'T FREE"
CRYPTO'S NEWEST COIN "BUBBLE BURST" PROMISES TO POP EXPECTATIONS, REGULATORS SKEPTICAL
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDERS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THAT BLOCKCHAIN ALSO RECORDS CRIMES; LAW ENFORCEMENT AMUSED
CRYPTO MARKET EAGERLY AWAITS NEW WHALE WATCH APP TO HELP INVESTORS DODGE NEXT FINANCIAL SPLASHDOWN
BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A COUNTRY, SEEKS UN MEMBERSHIP TO AVOID REGULATION
"CRYPTO COMMUNITY CELEBRATES AS BITCOIN BRIEFLY BECOMES THE WORLD’S STRONGEST CURRENCY, LASTING A WHOLE 10 MINUTES"
COINFLUENCERS DECLARE BANKRUPTCY AFTER SPENDING THEIR INVESTORS' FUNDS ON SOLID GOLD LEDGER WALLETS
