"CRYPTO BILLIONAIRE VOWS TO PLANT A TREE FOR EVERY BITCOIN TRANSACTION TO OFFSET EGO FOOTPRINT"
"BITCOIN DECLARED OFFICIAL CURRENCY OF THE MOON AFTER EARTH REGULATIONS PROVE TOO TERRIFYINGLY TEDIOUS"
"CITIZENS BEG GOVERNMENT TO STOP REGULATING CRYPTO, PROMISE TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SUSPICIOUS AGAIN"
"BITCOINCIDENT: CEO FORGETS WALLET PASSWORD, ACCIDENTALLY SOLVES NATIONAL DEBT"
CRYPTOCOIN CEO DECLARES "ONLY UPSIDE LEFT IS MOON," AFTER REGULATORS BUILD SPACE PROGRAM
ELON MUSK TWEETS 'GONE FISHING', CRYPTO MARKET DIVES THEN SURGES AS INVESTORS DEBATE METAPHORICAL MEANING
NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY PROMISES TO FIX ECONOMY, JUST LIKE THE LAST 583 DID
CRYPTO COIN CALLED 'PROMISE' PLUMMETS AFTER FOUNDERS PROMISE NOT TO DISAPPEAR WITH INVESTOR FUNDS
CRYPTO CONSULTANT CLAIMS MOON TICKET AS BITCOIN TUMBLES, PROMISES NEW COIN WILL FIX GRAVITY
"BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF A COUNTRY, IMMEDIATELY SUFFERS ECONOMIC COLLAPSE AND SEEKS IMF BAILOUT"
"CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS REJOICE: LEAKED MEMO SUGGESTS NEW REGULATIONS TO INCLUDE FREE VIRTUAL THERAPY WITH EVERY MARKET CRASH"
