"CRYPTO COMMUNITY BLAMES REGULATION AFTER 568TH CRASH THIS YEAR, CALLS IT UNPRECEDENTED INTERFERENCE"
"CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS REJOICE AS NEW COIN PROMISES TO ONLY CRASH ON WEEKDAYS"
CRYPTO BULLS NOW ACCEPTING TEARS AS NEWEST FORM OF CURRENCY AMIDST MARKET CRASH
CRYPTO TYCOON LAUNCHES NEW TOKEN PROMISING TO REFUND INVESTORS WITH ANCIENT LOST TREASURES: ABOVE\-GROUND RAILROAD STOCKS SURGE
DOGECOIN FOUNDER ANNOUNCES PLAN TO REPLACE U\.S\. DOLLAR, EXPERTS PREDICT IT WILL BE AS STABLE AS TWITTER'S LEADERSHIP
CRYPTO CRUSADER CLAIMS "MARS COIN" WILL BE RED PLANET'S OFFICIAL CURRENCY, IGNORES EARTHLY REGULATIONS
CRYPTOBUX LAUNCHES NEW 'DEJA VU' COIN PROMISING TO REPEAT PAST MISTAKES BUT WITH A FANCY NEW LOGO
"CRYPTO BILLIONAIRE VOWS TO PLANT A TREE FOR EVERY BITCOIN TRANSACTION TO OFFSET EGO FOOTPRINT"
"BITCOIN DECLARED OFFICIAL CURRENCY OF THE MOON AFTER EARTH REGULATIONS PROVE TOO TERRIFYINGLY TEDIOUS"
"CITIZENS BEG GOVERNMENT TO STOP REGULATING CRYPTO, PROMISE TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SUSPICIOUS AGAIN"
"BITCOINCIDENT: CEO FORGETS WALLET PASSWORD, ACCIDENTALLY SOLVES NATIONAL DEBT"
