CRYPTO\-THRILLED CATS CAUSE CHAOS: NFT FRENZY NOW LINKED TO GLOBAL LASER POINTER SHORTAGE
CRYPTOCOIN CALAMITY: REGULATORS CAN'T DECIDE IF IT'S THE FUTURE OF FINANCE OR JUST REALLY GOOD AT FUNDING YACHTS
CRYPTO MARKET HITS NEW LOW; INVESTORS HOPE TO RECOVER LOSSES WITH MEME COIN BASED ON FALLEN CEOS
"CRYPTO INVESTORS FIND NEW OASIS IN SANDCOIN, DESPITE EXPERTS WARNING IT’S JUST A DESERT"
"MILLIONAIRE BY MONDAY: NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY PROMISES TO OFFSET YOUR LOSSES WITH LOSSES FROM OTHER USERS"
CRYPTOCURRENCY INVENTS NEW SHAPE OF BUBBLE AFTER CIRCLES DEEMED TOO PREDICTABLE
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUND TO BE LEADING CAUSE OF RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR BURNOUTS, COMPUTERS DEMAND OVERTIME PAY
CRYPTO INVESTORS REJOICE AS NEW COIN PROMISES TO ONLY CRASH ON WEEKENDS
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS DECLARE "OPPOSITE DAY", CLAIM MARKET CRASH IS JUST REVERSE MOONING
"CRYPTOCURRENCY CEO APOLOGIZES FOR LOSING ONLY TWO BILLION THIS TIME, PROMISES TO AIM HIGHER IN NEXT QUARTER"
"CRYPTO INVESTORS REJOICE AS NEW BUBBLE GUM COIN PROMISES TO STICK TO THE MOON"
