CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS NOW ADOPTING HAMSTERS FOR INVESTMENT ADVICE AFTER LATEST MARKET TURNDOWN
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER PROMISES TO FIX GLOBAL WARMING WITH NEW 'ICECOIN', CLIMATE SCIENTISTS DEMAND PROOF OF WORK
"DOGECOIN FOUNDER APPOINTED TO HEAD NEWLY FORMED U\.S\. DEPARTMENT OF MEME ECONOMICS"
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS EXCITED TO BUY THE DIP AGAIN FOR THE SEVENTH TIME THIS MONTH
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER PROMISES TO FIX ECONOMY, UNVEILS PLAN TO PAY DEBTS WITH NFTS OF IOUs
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS REJOICE AS NEW COIN PROMISES TO CRASH ONLY TWICE A MONTH
TESLA BUYS $1B IN DOGECOIN; ELON MUSK CLAIMS IT'S TO FUND MARS COLONY, REGULATORS SKEPTICAL
CRYPTO COMMUNITY RELIEVED AS NEW COIN PROMISES TO ONLY CRASH TWICE A WEEK
CRYPTO MARKET TO IMPLEMENT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TOKENS AMID LATEST PRICE CRASHES
CRYPTO COMMUNITY DECLARES "IT'S NOT A BUBBLE" FROM INSIDE GIANT INFLATABLE BITCOIN BALLOON
"CRYPTO MARKET VOLATILITY NOW OFFICIALLY CLASSED AS A THEME PARK RIDE, THRILL-SEEKERS REJOICE"
