"CASH IS CRASHING: INVESTORS RUSH TO STORE WEALTH IN LASER\-EYED MONKEY NFTS AMIDST GLOBAL BANK DOUBTS"
"CRAZY COIN'S CRAZY RIDE: CRYPTOCURRENCY NOW ACCEPTED ON MARS, EARTH STILL UNSURE"
CRYPTOGRUMPY CAT NFT SELLS FOR $1 MILLION AS INVESTORS DECLARE "TIREDNESS IS THE NEW RICH"
"BITCOIN DECLARES ITSELF 'TIRED OF DRAMA,' ANNOUNCES VACATION TO BERMUDA TRIANGLE"
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS NOW ADOPTING HAMSTERS FOR INVESTMENT ADVICE AFTER LATEST MARKET TURNDOWN
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER PROMISES TO FIX GLOBAL WARMING WITH NEW 'ICECOIN', CLIMATE SCIENTISTS DEMAND PROOF OF WORK
"DOGECOIN FOUNDER APPOINTED TO HEAD NEWLY FORMED U\.S\. DEPARTMENT OF MEME ECONOMICS"
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS EXCITED TO BUY THE DIP AGAIN FOR THE SEVENTH TIME THIS MONTH
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDER PROMISES TO FIX ECONOMY, UNVEILS PLAN TO PAY DEBTS WITH NFTS OF IOUs
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS REJOICE AS NEW COIN PROMISES TO CRASH ONLY TWICE A MONTH
TESLA BUYS $1B IN DOGECOIN; ELON MUSK CLAIMS IT'S TO FUND MARS COLONY, REGULATORS SKEPTICAL
