"BITCOIN VOWS TO BECOME MORE STABLE THAN TWITTER'S LEADERSHIP: PROMISES ONLY ONE DRAMATIC CRASH PER WEEK"
"CRYPTOCURRENCY ENTHUSIASTS DEMAND DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME DELAY TO RECOVER LOST HOUR OF TRADING"
BITCOIN TO INTRODUCE LOYALTY POINTS: EARN A FREE NFT WITH EVERY MARKET CRASH
CRYPTO FANS REJOICE AS NEW COIN CREATORS PROMISE IT WON'T COLLAPSE FOR AT LEAST A WEEK
"CRYPTO BILLIONAIRES SEEK REFUGE ON MARS AS EARTHLY REGULATIONS TIGHTEN"
CRYPTOCURRENCY FOUNDATION PROMISES TO END POVERTY BY INTRODUCING 'MEME\-COIN' BACKED BY INTERNET JOKES
CRYPTO ENTHUSIASTS DEMAND NEW COIN INSPIRED BY THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN: 'FEDCOIN' PROMISES TO OPERATE 24/7
WORLD'S FIRST CRYPTOCLIMATE COIN LAUNCHES; VOWS TO MELT GLACIERS WITH HOT AIR FROM INVESTORS
BITCOIN HIRES PR FIRM TO IMPROVE IMAGE: DECLARES "I'M NOT A BUBBLE, I'M JUST MISUNDERSTOOD"
"DOGECOIN FOUNDER STARTS NEW CRYPTO FOR CAT LOVERS: CATCOIN PROMISES TO MAKE EVERY DAY CATURDAY"
CASHING IN ON CHAOS: CRYPTO CONFERENCE ACCEPTS ONLY FALLEN COINS AS ADMISSION FEE
